How to Maximise Quality Time with Your Kids as a Busy Dad

 Introduction

It's not about the quantity of time you spend with your kids as much as it is about the quality.

Quality time isn't just about making memories. It's about building an emotional connection that shapes how your kids see the world. The Emotional Mountain framework, which I explored during my Unbeatable Mind training, taught me that emotions like happiness and sadness (which can mix into melancholy, as seen in Inside Out) play a huge role in our relationships.

As dads, we need to control and transform our emotions, like turning frustration into determination, to show up fully for our kids. In this guide, I'll share six steps to maximize quality time with your kids, even with a packed schedule. These steps come from my own journey as a dad and insights from the Emotional Mountain framework.

Ready to create moments your kids will cherish forever? Let's dive in.

Step 1: Schedule Quality Time Like a Meeting

If you're a busy dad, you probably live by your calendar. Meetings, deadlines, and errands are all blocked off. So why not treat time with your kids the same way?

Scheduling quality time ensures it doesn't get pushed aside by the chaos of life. I used to think I could just "find time" for my kids, but I quickly learned that doesn't work.

Here's how to schedule quality time:

• Pick a Specific Time: Look at your calendar and block off 30 minutes a day or a few hours on the weekend. Set aside time and be intentional about how you will use it (no phone screen is a must for me).
• Make It Non-Negotiable: Treat it like a client meeting. No rescheduling unless it's an emergency. E.g. your kids know Saturday mornings are your together time, and they look forward to it.
• Plan Ahead: Decide what you'll do during that time, whether it's a park visit or a game at home. Planning reduces decision fatigue. I often plan a quick beach trip, like the one where my kid splashed in the waves.
• Tool Tip: Use Google Calendar to set recurring "kid time" blocks. Add a fun emoji, like a soccer ball, to give you a quick hint at what you have planned.

Dad Hack: Schedule your kid time while you're planning your week on Sunday night. It takes 5 minutes and ensures you prioritize them.

Step 2: Be Intentional with Your Activities

Quality time isn't about filling hours. It's about creating meaningful moments your kids will remember. The Emotional Mountain framework highlights that happiness, one of the basic emotions, comes from intentional connection. I realized that random playtime wasn't cutting it. I needed to be deliberate about the activities we did together.

Here's how to be intentional:

• Choose Meaningful Activities: Pick things that spark joy for your kids. My son loves building sandcastles, so we do that at the beach. What does your kid light up about? Maybe it's drawing or playing soccer.
• Focus on Connection: The activity should let you engage with your child, not just watch them. When we build sandcastles, I'm down in the sand with him, not on my phone.
• Create Memories: Think about what they'll remember years from now. A 10-minute dance party in the living room can be more memorable than a distracted day at the zoo. We have a silly dance routine that my kids still talk about.
• Mix It Up: Keep things fresh by trying new activities. One week, we might bake cookies; the next, we go on a nature walk. Variety keeps it exciting.

Dad Hack: Ask your kids during breakfast what they'd love to do together. It takes 2 minutes and ensures you're doing something they care about.

Step 3: Be Fully Present in the Moment

You can schedule all the time in the world, but if you're not present, it won't matter. The Emotional Mountain framework taught me that controlling our emotions is key, especially at home. I used to let work stress spill into my kid time, checking emails while they played. My kids could tell I wasn't really there, and it hurt our connection.

Here's how to be fully present:

• Put Away Distractions: Silence your phone and put it out of reach. I leave mine in another room during blocked family time. No notifications, no stress.
• Manage Your Emotions: If you're feeling angry or frustrated, take a moment to reset. The Emotional Mountain suggests transforming emotions, like turning anger into determination. A quick Warrior Breath technique (a deep inhale, hold, and slow exhale) to calm down before kid time can help.
• Focus on Your Child: Make eye contact, listen to their stories, and engage with their ideas. When my daughter tells me about her day, I really listen, not just nod while thinking about work.
• Be Playful: Let go of your "dad seriousness" and get silly. Splash in the waves with them, like I did at the beach. It shows them you're all in.

Dad Hack: Do a 1-minute breathing exercise before kid time. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 8. It helps you show up fully.

Step 4: Involve Your Kids in Your Daily Tasks

As a busy dad, you don't always have extra hours to spare. But you can turn everyday tasks into bonding opportunities by involving your kids. This not only saves time but also teaches them skills and builds connection. The Emotional Mountain framework notes that emotions are stored in the physical body. Doing tasks together creates positive emotional memories.

Here's how to involve your kids:

• Pick Simple Tasks: Include them in things like cooking dinner or folding laundry. My son loves helping me make pancakes on Sundays. He stirs the batter while I flip.
• Make It Fun: Turn the task into a game. We race to see who can fold socks faster. It’s a small thing, but it makes him laugh and feel involved.
• Teach as You Go: Use the task to teach a skill or value. While cooking, I talk to my kids about healthy eating. It’s a sneaky way to bond and educate.
• Celebrate Together: When the task is done, celebrate with a high-five or a quick hug. It creates a positive emotional loop.

Dad Hack: Involve your kids in a task during their afternoon snack time. It’s a 15-minute window that doubles as bonding.

Step 5: Create Traditions They’ll Look Forward To

Traditions give your kids something to anticipate, strengthening your bond over time. They don’t need to be elaborate. The Emotional Mountain framework emphasizes transforming emotions, like turning doubt into inquiry. Creating traditions helps your kids feel secure, knowing they can count on these moments with you.

Here's how to create traditions:

• Start Small: Pick a simple ritual, like a weekly movie night or a bedtime story routine. You could have "Friday Pizza Night," where you make homemade pizzas together.
• Involve Your Kids: Let them help shape the tradition. My kids love ordering special ‘shapes’ for their pizzas.
• Make It Consistent: Stick to the same day or time so it becomes a habit. Again, you can have pizza night always at 6 PM on Fridays, no exceptions.
• Add Emotional Depth: Use the tradition to connect emotionally. During dinner, you could each share one thing you’re grateful for. It’s a small moment that builds happiness.

Dad Hack: Plan your tradition while driving to school. Ask your kids what they’d love to do every week. It takes 5 minutes and sets the stage.

Step 6: Take Care of Yourself First

You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re burned out, stressed, or emotionally drained, you won’t be able to show up for your kids the way they deserve. The Emotional Mountain framework highlights that self-esteem plays a major role in emotional growth. Clearing past emotional baggage, like stress or frustration, lets you be a better dad.

Here's how to take care of yourself:

• Prioritize Self-Care: Set aside 10 minutes a day for yourself. Do a quick yoga or stretch session in the morning to release physical tension.
• Clear Emotional Baggage: Use visualization, like the "Future Me" exercise from the Emotional Mountain framework. Picture yourself as a calm, present dad. I do this for 5 minutes every morning.
• Transform Emotions: Turn negative emotions into positive ones. If I’m feeling jealous of dads with more time, I shift to acceptance, focusing on what I can control.
• Rest and Recharge: Schedule a 20-minute nap or quiet time. Ideally you could snuggle up with your kids to refresh before more time together.

Conclusion

Maximizing quality time with your kids as a busy dad isn’t about finding more hours. It’s about making the moments you have count.

By scheduling time, being intentional, staying present, involving your kids, creating traditions, and taking care of yourself, you can build a deep emotional connection that lasts. These steps, paired with insights from the Emotional Mountain framework, have helped me show up as the dad I want to be. They’ll help you too.

Imagine your kids growing up with memories of a dad who was truly there, not just physically but emotionally. That’s the legacy you’re creating.

Ready to make it happen? Pick one step and start today. Maybe schedule a 30-minute block for your kids this weekend, or try a quick Warrior Breath to be more present. Want more support? Check out my RECLAIM course for dads, where I help you take back control of your time and energy to be the best dad and man you can be.

FAQs

Q: What if I don’t have time to schedule kid time every day?

A: Start with once a week. A 30-minute block on the weekend can make a big difference. I started with Saturday mornings, and it worked wonders.

Q: How do I stay present when I’m stressed from work?

A: Use a quick breathing technique, like Warrior Breath. Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 8. Do this before kid time to let go of stress.

Q: What if my kids don’t want to join in on tasks?

A: Make it fun. Turn the task into a game, like a laundry-folding race.

Q: How do I know if I’m creating the right traditions?

A: If your kids look forward to it, you’re on the right track. Ask them what they love about it. My kids’ excitement for pizza night tells me it’s working.